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Monday, June 28, 2004

Toilet TV

Tomorrow sees the Channel 4 premiere of You Are What You Eat. The (allegedly) public service broadcaster is said to be angling for closer links with the entertainment-led station Five (a.k.a Channel 5), which is innovative with its episodic arts documentaries, solid in its pursuit of US cop shows and hard to watch the rest of the time. Five is also notorious for Celebrity Detox, which brought us such delights as Richard Blackwood's televised enema.

It looks like Channel 4 plans to catch up with Five on scatalogical programming long before any formal merger takes place. The trailer for You Are What You Eat, a lifestyle makeover show, features a Scottish diet guru cursing the biscuits in someone's cupboard, and speculating about said guest's 'skidmarks all the way to Scotland'. None of this is a surprise, if my telephone 'audition' for the show is anything to go by. Strictly for research purposes in the course of my duties as a reality TV pundit, I put my name forward for a guest spot.

It started off as a questionaire regarding my unsavoury dietary habits (that's too much information already). The next question clinched my non-appearance: was I prepared to give a stool sample on national TV? For obvious reasons I replied in the negative.

Disappointed, the researcher contrasted my lack of enthusiasm to that of the guest who eats two 12-inch pizzas for lunch every day, who was 'really up for it'. Maybe so, but with that lot inside him, he probably needs to take every opportunity he can get ...


Blogger Faisal ... said...

I think Channel4 has gone too far with reality TV. I am fed up of watching "big brother" or "how clean is your house?". I think that they need to come up with much better ideas. I do not think that five is any better to (as a channel) to be honest.

12:27 pm  

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