A foxy calendar story

Not content with dealing mucky books from under the counter, I am also curator of an obscure object that doubles as a guide to a parallel world. I refer to the Leicester City 2008 official calendar, which in its own way explains why my home town side is circling the drain.

Take January, which shows Jimmy Nielsen - left on a free having never played for the club - and Marton Fulop - probably kept us out of the drop zone, now back with Sunderland. Skipping over Paul Henderson to February, we find the perennially transfer-listed Elvis Hammond alongside Darren Kenton (contract terminated by mutual consent), now with Leeds - as is "Mr. April", Leeds loanee and free kick specialist Alan Sheehan. To add insult to injury, this month also sees a snap of Mark Deep Freeze staring back at me, now firing blanks with Dundee United. Presumably they didn't have a photo of an abyss to use, or at least Leicester did not sign one in time for the calendar photoshoot.

The quarter is not up yet, but the calendar embodies the key reasons for City's decline of late: instability in the squad and players who simply aren't good enough. Hammond and Kenton first came to Leicester on loan spells where we worked out they weren't very good, but they got contracts anyway. And so it goes on.

Let's just say there's a strong chance of this calendar leaving on a free transfer before the year is out. (At least the dates are accurate.)