In a parallel universe ...

... according to an unofficial homepage, I'm a busty Texan born in 1972.
You can also buy nude photos of me there, apparently.
Fans of Blackburn Rovers will be surprised to find the following info on Graeme Souness:
Graeme Souness bioraphy [sic]:

Date of Birth: August 15, 1976
Born in: London
Nationality: UK
Shoe: 35
Bust-Waist-Hips: 85 - 52 - 91
Height: 166 cm
Hair: Brown
Agencies: New York - IMG
Eye: Black

The wonders of google ...