Pot, kettle …

An old reality TV quotation that I forget to use during Big Brother this summer:

Melinda Messenger reveals
If you could evict any housemate who would it be?

"I would probably go for Lisa because she can't say what she feels, she is very inarticulate. When she said about spaghetti on her pillows you were like what is she coming out with?"

(Friday 16 June Day 30, 22:16)

Quite. Winner Pete on the other hand had none of Lisa or Melinda's problems with articulacy...

PS. Quite rightly, Attila the Stockbroker says it all about spam:

OH FOR THE DAYS WHEN SPAM WAS JUST A MONTY PYTHON SKETCH

Thanks to the internet

my wife is a very happy woman.

My penis is now forty-seven feet long

it stays erect for weeks at a time

and it is garlanded

by hundreds of genuine Rolex watches

acquired with the millions I have won in various Albanian lotteries

and the billions generously deposited

in my accounts

by the grateful executors of the wills

of innumerable African tribal chiefs

all mysteriously deceased along with their entire extended families

in improbably gruesome lawnmower accidents in Liechtenstein.

'My account with Lloyds has been suspended!'

(I don't have one.)

My wife's breasts enlarge and reduce

spontaneously as we use our 95% discounted software

to gaze at the pictures of our free timeshare apartments

enjoying continuous multiple orgasms whilst admiring our genuine Chinese historical artefacts purchased online from Hong Kong. Our garden is full of imported rubber.

Not rubber sex toys or even rubber boots just: rubber.

I have more free Coldplay MP3s than you could wave a suicide note at.

I also have 'Kate Moss Suction Power'.

I don't know what that is but I am hoping that it may be useful next time the toilet needs unblocking.

I now know the Cyrillic alphabet and the Polish for 'are you embarrassed about your size?'

Every morning a new surrealist word juxtaposition appears in my inbox

as the spammers seek to avoid the filter.

Applicator fornicate!

Consonant clitoris!

Hay fever padre!

Crabmeat be Paris!

Out evoke in robins!

Bestiality service charge!

Decomposing lark’s vomit engulf Crystal Palace!

(Ok, I made the last one upbut all the others are genuine...)

And to prove that truth is indeed stranger than fiction in our brave new world my website is recommended as one of the top fifty stockbroking sites on many search engines. Now that really is Pythonesque.