Men are from Bow, women are from Oakland

Once upon a time I was dating a Californian. A Marxist-feminist (third wave) in politics and a neoplatonist in aesthetics, she nevertheless explained a wide range of the problems she observed on British TV in terms of people's diet. How Californian, I thought at the time.

On further reflection, we were in different ballparks altogether on dietary issues. Take Quorn for example. For us Brits, this edible soil mold is generally something carnivores buy when they don't read the labels properly in the supermarket. In the Bay Area, I'm told, it's seen as Frankenfood (despite being one of the most extensively safety-tested foodstuffs on the planet). Meanwhile the Brits - and Doctor Who - will gladly tuck into biscuits topped with dragées, while the U.S. Food and Drug Administration considers them to be inedible ('for decorative purposes only').

Clearly the Atlantic allies needs to hammer out an agreement on whether something is actually food or not before arguing over individual diets.