Post-Fordism

Nemesis. Darth Bricktop. Clifford Harding. A good bloke. Not me - Alan Ford. I've recently seen my own contribution to The Real Outlaws DVD (2007), in which I'm wearing a polo shirt under a 'smart casual' shirt, why god only knows. Needless to say, Ford's OTT presenting makes him the real star of the show.

From the Vaults

From back in the day, here's me getting my retaliation in early on the whole ASBO/chavs issue. Should have done a book about it really.

Not with a bang...

With a paragraph in the Evening Standard, and a bit of monstering in The Sun, the predicted national crimewave of Summer 2005 grinds to a halt.

No omlettes for you

Almost one year ago, I reported on the local authority's kill-joy approach to halloween. Yesterday it became clear that the policy was being extended to a ban - spearheaded by the authorities 'encouraging' shops to comply - on selling eggs and flour. 'Older teenagers' can also forget about wearing masks too.*

In just-about-connected news, the 22 October Evening Standard editorial has this to say:
The Dome's triumph
"Those who jeered at the Millennium Dome as a white elephant with no real function must now eat their words.
The O2 arena is now the most popular venue in the world. It's a lesson to cynics and naysayers everywhere."

Two points: the renaming and the repurposing are part of its present popularity (along with the closing of the other large Docklands venue which seemed to stage nothing but Disney on Ice shows). In contrast, part of the Dome's initial failure was down to its almost uniformly poor content, its war with the motor car, its excessive and highly publicised attendance targets, and the government's 1990s-style bid to unite the nation without resorting to war or a dead princess.

It's much easier to stick up for it now than confront the naysayers in 1999. The Evening Standard's defence of the Dome comes a decade too late.



*They'll just have to go to the local cinema instead. Or the dog track. Or Charlie Chan's nightclub. What's that you say? All closed? Then they will just have to wait for the 2012 'Olympic bounce' effect to get them decent facilities in the borough.

The grass in the Forest

From the Daily Express (27 July 2009):

"Get £500 to spy on neighbours

Waltham Forest council last week launched the Conviction Reward Scheme, in which residents are offered rewards of up to £500 for reporting bad conduct by their neighbours to the authorities. Anyone who photographs dog fouling, littering, graffiti or fly tipping that leads to a prosecution will receive a cash reward. The scheme, which has been given the logo ‘See them, report them’, could be rolled out across the country. Waltham Forest council said the scheme was launched because residents wanted more to be done to tackle environmental crime."

According to the report, subject to the conviction, the value of the available bounty is to be staggered. Unlike most of the residents, who are getting used to this sort of thing from the council by now.

Michael Jackson and the Half-Baked Prints

As a journalism tutor, I seldom want to see publications closing down. After all, they could well employ my graduates. Conversely, fewer newspapers and magazines might - and only might - deter vocationally minded applicants from signing up for a course.

I'm not unsympathetic to fears that magazines are becoming obselete: why be locked into a monthly production cycle when the internet helps you to keep up with changing events? Accordingly, I will forgive the August 2009 issue of Red for this: "If ever proof was needed that they don't make pop stars like they used to, then the frenzy over Michael Jackson's 50-show residency at London's O2 Arena is it ... If you're lucky enough to have tickets, get ready for a show that will go down in history" (p.109). Quite.

In all fairness to Red, it went to press before certain recent events. The same excuses for crappy content can't be used by wfm - note the trendy lower case - house rag of Waltham Forest council. Public funds are used to promote the local authority's interminable campaign against anti-social behaviour. The 6 July issue revels in an ASBO issued to Mr Minghua Wang, who will be prosecuted if found "having in his possession more than two DVDs or CDs in any public place in Greater London within the M25 perimeter" (p.4). No more boxed sets for you, sonny! Of course, the legal quibble that carrying three or more DVDs is NOT an offence can be overcome by attaching criminal penalties to same act. This is nothing to celebrate, and the council bringing The Men They Couldn't Hang - but presumably could still ASBO - to town does not excuse its ad-hoc lawmaking.

The good news is that this story appeared in the final issue of wfm. The bad news is that this miserable greentop tabloid will be replaced with "Waltham Forest News" from tomorrow - retro font, and probably more of the same authoritarian content.

Send her Victorian

I was tickled to read a recent report in the Independent about the decline of British stag weekends in Riga, Latvia. "I imagined that Englishmen would all be real gentlemen, like Sherlock Holmes," said 21 year-old student Marika. Unfortunately, "they are little more than animals."

Which nationalities have most disappointed you by not resembling fictional characters in late Victorian fiction? Perhaps Chinese men are insufficiently like Fu Manchu? Romanians who differ from Count Dracula? Mark your entry "modern nationalities which differ from their fictitious counterparts" and send answers on a postcard to ...

When junk food + social science = junk social science

Neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. Despite the geographical proximity, union-busting Epping Forest College is NOT a good neighbour.

Across the way, the war on fried chicken continues. No casualty figures yet, but the latest wheeze is a blatant piece of advocacy research (of the sort carried out by Barnardos that my colleague Brendan O'Neill exposed recently). The "hot food takeaways in Waltham Forest" questionnaire has two neutral questions about the role of the council in planning applications. Then come three kickers: Do you agree or disagree that planning applications for hot food takeaway shops in Waltham Forest should be managed to:

• resist proposals that would cause an unacceptable risk of crime and antisocial behaviour?


• ensure that they don't have an unacceptable impact on road safety?


• ensure that they have good systems in place to deal with smells and waste?

In other words, three out of five questions invite respondents to side with the council in expanding its planning permission powers around a dietary social policy objective. Who is going to answer in ways that encourage more crime, traffic collisions and filth in the streets? Setting up the questionnaire this way means that the "research" can be used to rubber stamp an existing decision -- expressed in council leader Clyde Loakes' "war on fried chicken" that was declared well before the December closing date for survey returns.

Working Doors, Dalrymple Deconstructed

The new issue of Reconstruction, a section of which I co-edited, is out today. Read on.

In the same issue is a book review of books by Simon Winlow and Theodore Dalrymple. If it seems like these books have been around for a while, that's because they have (the review having gone around the houses at one journal for donkey's years before getting rejected, while leaving me to guess this fact for myself).

What I really needed was for the bloody thing to appear at around the same time as an earlier review of a Francis Gilbert book, as with it I might have avoided a grumpy email exchange with Dr. Winlow himself. Anyway, hopefully the belated appearance of this review article might set things straight.

Happy halloween

So here I am in an internet cafe, blogging next to Amy Rigby who is doing a gig down the road with Wreckless Eric later tonight. Outside, the Local Council has issued a detailed warning about the dangers this Halloween:

We are working with the police to reduce the anxiety that is caused to members of our community at this time of year.
‘Sorry No Trick or Treat’ posters will be available in wfm 20 October issue, from the community safety van or you can download your ‘Sorry No Trick or Treat’ poster here (946KB PDF file)
The poster can be displayed in your window or door to discourage trick or treaters from calling. Remember that you do not have to open your door to them:
Do not let anyone in your house unless you are happy with their identity
Do not deal with doorstep sales people unless you are sure they are genuine
Always ask for identification from official callers
Halloween safety tips for parents and children
For safety reasons children should never trick or treat alone. Parents may want to consider having a fancy-dress themed Halloween party at home as an alternative to trick or treating.
Parents and children:
Do not go into strangers home
Restrict trick or treat visits to homes with outside lights on
Use costumes with light or bright coloured material and trim
Check to see that costumes do not interfere with walking
Set a time limit for your children to trick or treat and designate a specific route to take
Encourage children to use face paint and/or make-up rather than hoods, wigs or masks that can block vision
Check all treats before the children eat the sweets and other Halloween goodies
Stay in areas that are well lit with street lights but also take a torch just in case
Be visible and take care when crossing the road
Report any suspicious or criminal activity
Don't knock on doors where there is a sign saying 'sorry no trick or treat'
Police are urging trick or treaters to show consideration for vulnerable and elderly members of the community this Halloween and even though Halloween is supposed to be spooky, be careful not to frighten the elderly.
To report anti-social behaviour call Waltham Forest Direct 020 8496 3000

Probably safer indoors, but for the back-to-back gorno movies showing on Freeview. I noticed from the TV listings that Saw, Saw 2, Hostel, 2001 Maniacs and Reeker were all doing their bit to add to the festivities recently.

Enjoy your evening.

Beyond my comprehension

(Austrian) kids these days. How do we test their grasp of English? Have them interview me (see p.2). Weird.

E-Mailer

Farewell Norman Mailer. The obituaries came in thick and fast and everyone had an opinion. For many reasons -- some to do with Mailer, some not -- the links between his attitudes to women, his conduct towards women and his writing would always be under scrutiny. It was hard to scan these assessments without some mention of his stabbing of second wife Adele, in the late 1960s.

Few recalled his medicalised excuse for his conduct, which would fit in nicely with present day mores: "There are no modern Insarovs. Instead there are cancerphobes like Norman Mailer, who recently explained that had he not stabbed his wife (and acted out 'a murderous nest of feeling') he would have gotten cancer and 'been dead in a few years himself.' it is the same fantasy that was once attached to TB, but in rather a nastier version." (Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor (1978), Vintage, 1979 ed. p. 22.)

Prevention is better than cure, they say. Better for whom?

Always time for crime

On and off, I've been writing for Crime Time for over a decade now, first appearing in issue 2. (Birthdays can cause one to reflect on the passage of time in this way.) I've been through magazine, photocopy, magazine again, trade paperback - one day the font will be large enough for me to read it - and website versions. Here's to the next 10 years of Crime Time.

Panoramic views

Here we go again. Does anyone recall the happy slapping scare of 2005? Then as now, these "fight clubs" are at worst a handful of local assaults, situations that most conscientious adults could break up if they weren't scared of the kids. Yet again we see a nation-wide scare being constructed out of children behaving badly with new technology. Could the discovery of this new social problem be linked to a forthcoming Panorama broadcast? I couldn't possibly comment...

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On a not totally unrelated note, I am commenting on Paul Gormley's book in 7 Days this week.

ASBOs out-Foxed

Claire Fox gave a good account of anti-social behaviour orders on BBC London News, BBC1 on Monday. If you have RealPlayer, click on the link below to hear Claire Fox's view of Blunkett's five year plan from Radio 4's Today (click on "08.10am Home Secretary David Blunkett").

More on the blight caused by Anti-Social Behaviour Orders, which lack any of the usual protections formally built into the law, can be found at this link to a decent article by Decca Aitkenhead.

PS. Recently I have been doing some work as an affiliate editor of the journal Reconstruction. Check out the new "Post·hum·an·ous" themed issue by clicking the link.