No omlettes for you

Almost one year ago, I reported on the local authority's kill-joy approach to halloween. Yesterday it became clear that the policy was being extended to a ban - spearheaded by the authorities 'encouraging' shops to comply - on selling eggs and flour. 'Older teenagers' can also forget about wearing masks too.*

In just-about-connected news, the 22 October Evening Standard editorial has this to say:
The Dome's triumph
"Those who jeered at the Millennium Dome as a white elephant with no real function must now eat their words.
The O2 arena is now the most popular venue in the world. It's a lesson to cynics and naysayers everywhere."

Two points: the renaming and the repurposing are part of its present popularity (along with the closing of the other large Docklands venue which seemed to stage nothing but Disney on Ice shows). In contrast, part of the Dome's initial failure was down to its almost uniformly poor content, its war with the motor car, its excessive and highly publicised attendance targets, and the government's 1990s-style bid to unite the nation without resorting to war or a dead princess.

It's much easier to stick up for it now than confront the naysayers in 1999. The Evening Standard's defence of the Dome comes a decade too late.



*They'll just have to go to the local cinema instead. Or the dog track. Or Charlie Chan's nightclub. What's that you say? All closed? Then they will just have to wait for the 2012 'Olympic bounce' effect to get them decent facilities in the borough.

The grass in the Forest

From the Daily Express (27 July 2009):

"Get £500 to spy on neighbours

Waltham Forest council last week launched the Conviction Reward Scheme, in which residents are offered rewards of up to £500 for reporting bad conduct by their neighbours to the authorities. Anyone who photographs dog fouling, littering, graffiti or fly tipping that leads to a prosecution will receive a cash reward. The scheme, which has been given the logo ‘See them, report them’, could be rolled out across the country. Waltham Forest council said the scheme was launched because residents wanted more to be done to tackle environmental crime."

According to the report, subject to the conviction, the value of the available bounty is to be staggered. Unlike most of the residents, who are getting used to this sort of thing from the council by now.

Michael Jackson and the Half-Baked Prints

As a journalism tutor, I seldom want to see publications closing down. After all, they could well employ my graduates. Conversely, fewer newspapers and magazines might - and only might - deter vocationally minded applicants from signing up for a course.

I'm not unsympathetic to fears that magazines are becoming obselete: why be locked into a monthly production cycle when the internet helps you to keep up with changing events? Accordingly, I will forgive the August 2009 issue of Red for this: "If ever proof was needed that they don't make pop stars like they used to, then the frenzy over Michael Jackson's 50-show residency at London's O2 Arena is it ... If you're lucky enough to have tickets, get ready for a show that will go down in history" (p.109). Quite.

In all fairness to Red, it went to press before certain recent events. The same excuses for crappy content can't be used by wfm - note the trendy lower case - house rag of Waltham Forest council. Public funds are used to promote the local authority's interminable campaign against anti-social behaviour. The 6 July issue revels in an ASBO issued to Mr Minghua Wang, who will be prosecuted if found "having in his possession more than two DVDs or CDs in any public place in Greater London within the M25 perimeter" (p.4). No more boxed sets for you, sonny! Of course, the legal quibble that carrying three or more DVDs is NOT an offence can be overcome by attaching criminal penalties to same act. This is nothing to celebrate, and the council bringing The Men They Couldn't Hang - but presumably could still ASBO - to town does not excuse its ad-hoc lawmaking.

The good news is that this story appeared in the final issue of wfm. The bad news is that this miserable greentop tabloid will be replaced with "Waltham Forest News" from tomorrow - retro font, and probably more of the same authoritarian content.

Obituaries - celebs on slabs

A week of obituaries - Michael Jackson, Karl Malden, Mollie Sugden. The latter prompted a few 'pussy' gags when I saw punk covers band Scam 69 at one of my local pubs the other night. One person who I could imagine running out of patience with permafrost new wave acts is Steven "Seething" Wells, who predeceased the celebrity trio. Most commentators noted the passing of a gonzo journalist who started out as part of the mid-80s fanzine craze; I have uncomfortable memories of arriving late for a gig involving him and Attila the Stockbroker at Loughborough University. I'd battled through snow to get there and due to the layout of the venue had to walk across the stage to get to my seat. "And what time do you call this then?" Wells asked, seething. The diatribe continued long after I was (un)settled.

In a not totally unrelated development to 1980s Thatcher-bashing, I'd noticed a growing role for the media industries in the demands made by demonstrations. The rhetorical question "Whadda we want? Media coverage! When do we wannit? Now" reared its head on a Gulf War demo in Brighton in 1991, and the sentiment has swelled ever since, even as the politics faded away. Twelve hours before this post was written - okay, so I have not quite optimised my use of Twitter yet - I was on a 'Save our Stow' protest (see picture) where the BBC and Sky News were thanked from the platform while local news photographers directed the demonstration into a suitably photogenic shape. It's not my call to knock the campaign's media strategy, but it is interesting that news coverage has come to be seen as increasingly important.

What would Swells make of all this?

Wrote to Spiked

Letter published, did not win £10. Eagle-eyed viewers will spot a recycled blog entry in this bit of correspondence.

When junk food + social science = junk social science

Neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. Despite the geographical proximity, union-busting Epping Forest College is NOT a good neighbour.

Across the way, the war on fried chicken continues. No casualty figures yet, but the latest wheeze is a blatant piece of advocacy research (of the sort carried out by Barnardos that my colleague Brendan O'Neill exposed recently). The "hot food takeaways in Waltham Forest" questionnaire has two neutral questions about the role of the council in planning applications. Then come three kickers: Do you agree or disagree that planning applications for hot food takeaway shops in Waltham Forest should be managed to:

• resist proposals that would cause an unacceptable risk of crime and antisocial behaviour?


• ensure that they don't have an unacceptable impact on road safety?


• ensure that they have good systems in place to deal with smells and waste?

In other words, three out of five questions invite respondents to side with the council in expanding its planning permission powers around a dietary social policy objective. Who is going to answer in ways that encourage more crime, traffic collisions and filth in the streets? Setting up the questionnaire this way means that the "research" can be used to rubber stamp an existing decision -- expressed in council leader Clyde Loakes' "war on fried chicken" that was declared well before the December closing date for survey returns.

Happy halloween

So here I am in an internet cafe, blogging next to Amy Rigby who is doing a gig down the road with Wreckless Eric later tonight. Outside, the Local Council has issued a detailed warning about the dangers this Halloween:

We are working with the police to reduce the anxiety that is caused to members of our community at this time of year.
‘Sorry No Trick or Treat’ posters will be available in wfm 20 October issue, from the community safety van or you can download your ‘Sorry No Trick or Treat’ poster here (946KB PDF file)
The poster can be displayed in your window or door to discourage trick or treaters from calling. Remember that you do not have to open your door to them:
Do not let anyone in your house unless you are happy with their identity
Do not deal with doorstep sales people unless you are sure they are genuine
Always ask for identification from official callers
Halloween safety tips for parents and children
For safety reasons children should never trick or treat alone. Parents may want to consider having a fancy-dress themed Halloween party at home as an alternative to trick or treating.
Parents and children:
Do not go into strangers home
Restrict trick or treat visits to homes with outside lights on
Use costumes with light or bright coloured material and trim
Check to see that costumes do not interfere with walking
Set a time limit for your children to trick or treat and designate a specific route to take
Encourage children to use face paint and/or make-up rather than hoods, wigs or masks that can block vision
Check all treats before the children eat the sweets and other Halloween goodies
Stay in areas that are well lit with street lights but also take a torch just in case
Be visible and take care when crossing the road
Report any suspicious or criminal activity
Don't knock on doors where there is a sign saying 'sorry no trick or treat'
Police are urging trick or treaters to show consideration for vulnerable and elderly members of the community this Halloween and even though Halloween is supposed to be spooky, be careful not to frighten the elderly.
To report anti-social behaviour call Waltham Forest Direct 020 8496 3000

Probably safer indoors, but for the back-to-back gorno movies showing on Freeview. I noticed from the TV listings that Saw, Saw 2, Hostel, 2001 Maniacs and Reeker were all doing their bit to add to the festivities recently.

Enjoy your evening.

On two fronts

Never mind its war on fried chicken, Waltham Forest Council has also declared war on fly-tipping. As usual, no figures on the expected troop deployments have been provided ... Luckily, the Borough has no (openly acknowledged) money in Icelandic banks, otherwise its navy would be crossing the North Atlantic already.

Cock tales

ITEM: All the sex on the beach jokes have been done to death. Not much to add, on threat of deportation. Except to note that the Daily Mail, which has published front pages on the threat of Shariah law coming to Britain, seems to quite like it applied the glitz and golf of Dubai. Oh, and the idea of an ITP employee “bringing the company into disrepute”. Gate, horse, bolted.

ITEM: “Waltham Forest Council announced last week that it is waging war on the effects of excessive fast food in the borough … a borough that was should be synonymous with change, progress and achievement – not grease, fast food and litter.” So said the Council’s 24 March newsletter. Nearly four months on, and local residents are being kept in the dark. How long is the war expected to last? What are the predicted casualty rates? Is there a plan for withdrawal? The public must be told.

“What did you do in the war on the effects of excessive fast food, daddy?” “Had two pieces of Perfect Fried with chips, Alex. Twice in one week.”

Reconstruction; anti-construction

The latest issue of Reconstruction - Class, Culture and Public Intellectuals - is online now, with my co-editorial fingerprints all over it. It was a long haul, but I'm very pleased with the content (and the form: thanks Justin and Sean).

Meanwhile a return to the UK presents me with public life that seems to be a caricature of itself. Being away means missing the mediating links, but preoccupations with body image, plastic bags and cycling abound. In my old stomping grounds, a patch of industrial wasteland - the former Halex factory - will not be turned into flats and a supermarket, ostensibly in order to preserve the character of the area. Ironically, if the Halex factory was back in action, environmentalists would oppose that too. At least the residents of Rosia Montana are hitting back against the industrial counter-revolution; when are Brits going to do the same?

When images rule the earth

Happy slapping banned in France - five year's inside for posting the material on the internet. South Yorkshire police go into meltdown over CCTV footage of a beating being made public. (Having spent half the 1990s dealing with that particular branch of the "service", I can't say I'm very sympathetic to them on this occasion.) In my neck of the woods, a typical Friday afternoon at the mall involves taking cellphone snapshots of women in defiance of new laws, to exchange with other leering men.

This follows hot on the heels of the conviction of chanting loon Abdul Muhid for soliciting murder (i.e. chanting anti-British slogans on a demonstration). While his words will get him some jail time, his earlier actions - smashing a Walthamstow bus shelter - netted a fine that was less than the value of the damage to the shelter itself.

How are we to make sense of all this? Where's Jean Baudrillard when you need him?

Never a dull moment

Long ago, in happier times, I lived in Highams Park. This "green and pleasant neighbourhood" was profiled recently in the property section of the Independent (Robert Liebman, "It's a walk in the park", 14 February 2006, p.14). Local highlights in E4 include a blue plaque on Jubilee Avenue: "Plastics Historical Society: On this site, from 1897-1971, stood the Halex factory of the British Xylonite Company".

Steady on now.
Although I mock, I still think that closing the local hospital is a really bad idea.

Keep Whipps open

Yesterday saw me (+1) marching to prevent the closure of Whipps Cross, my local hospital. Over the years I've spent so much time in there that closure would be akin to being evicted. It was the first - and probably last - time I was on a demonstration with Iain Duncan-Smith (remember him?). Shadows on this picture stop readers from identifying my daughter, who is under the "OSP" of the main banner (purely by chance).

Gambling on Theocracy

So the success of the Manchester super-casino bid was a bit unexpected. At least I'll be near a micro-casino if I fancy a night out, in "Stratford City, West Ham United FC or the Docklands' ExCel Centre" (none of which are really "on Waltham Forest's doorstop", incidentally). (Read on at "Casino causing concerns", Waltham Forest Independent, 2 February 2007).

I was interested to note the opposition to the proposed casino(s) coming from the al-Tawhid mosque in Leyton High Road. According to Imam Dr Usama Hasan, "Gambling is prohibited in the Koran. I don't think our congregation will like the casino being built at all." I disagree, but at least the first half of the argument is consistent with his religious beliefs. As an extra justification, Dr Hasan adds "Gambling causes a lot of problems, people who run up debt may turn to crime - it is all related." If gambling is absolutely forbidden on religious grounds, then the extra - often dubious - speculation about the social consequences is unnecessary. Some fundamentalist; the local Imam relies on secular arguments to make his case. (James L. Nolan has already skewered the US religious right for having the same relativist logic in its own self-justifications in his book The Therapeutic State: Justifying Government at Century's End).

I could come up with a cheap shot at critics of an "Islamo-fascist left alliance" who also have the same line on casinos as Dr. Hasan, but the odds on that happening make it too predictable.